To Be Or Not To BE
by xXxLOSTinTHOUGHTxXx
Summary: Bella is secretly in love with her best friend Edward, but Edward has a crush on Rosalie. Will Bella let her feelings for Edward be known? Inc. Jacob/Em/Jas/Alice All human. Rated M for future chapters. First story: REVIEW
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first story here so please read/review. I am open to any and all suggestions, so please feel free to tell me what you think. The first chapter seems slow but I'm going to try to speed it up later on. Thank you:D

--Sincerely,

Lost

Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer nor do I own any of the characters I used in this story. Peace around the world for generations:D!!

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The worst part wasn't that he didn't notice how devastatingly, head over heals, in love with him I was, but how he was in love with my best friend just as much. Of course they were horrible for each other; or so I told myself. He was the sweet, funny, charismatic, goofball; I have always known and loved. While she was the equally charismatic, trend-loving, gossiping liar I had befriended sophomore year.

"So did you tell Rosalie about this Saturday?" Edward eagerly whispered while we sat in math class.

"No, not yet," I said uninterested…I hoped he had forgotten about inviting her to this Saturday's game.

"Why not?" he pressed. Miss. Vance had started eyeing us from her desk.

"I haven't had the chance," I whispered back annoyed, trying to force a tone that would get him to drop the questions.

"Why not?"

"If you want her to come so much why don't you ask her?" I snapped. Apparently he got that hint. He sat idly by my side staring at the ceiling. It was barely 3rd period but I could already see that today was going to be one of those days.

The school bell chimed; time for English. Finally I had some time alone. I loved every second I spent with Edward, but during the time span of those days it was hard to be around him. I rose from my seat mechanically and headed for the door. But of course my best friend would notice something wrong with me. Ugh sometimes I wish he would notice how every time he looks into my eyes I melt and how every time he puts his hands on me, in a completely platonic way, my heart seems to skip a beat.

"Bella? What's wrong?" He asked seriously. Great now he was worried.

"Nothing."

"Are you sure?" he teased, pinching my cheeks to make my frown an unconvincing smile.

"I'm fine," I sighed in defeat, forcing a tiny smile.

"Good, because if your angry with me you don't get your surprise,"

"Ugh! Surprise!" I all but moaned…I hated surprises.

"Yup!" he beamed.

"Do you honestly hate me that much Cullen? You know I hate surprises." I said.

"Oh contraire mon mademoiselle. You are undeniably my most favorite person in the world." True, as he was mine, "Which is why you get a surprise," He was having way too much fun at my expense.

"And if I refuse?" We were nearing my next class and I wasn't going to let him win. Not without a fight.

"You won't refuse." He rebutted.

"But if I do?"

"Well…" He pondered.

"Well?"

"Well, if you refuse, which I assure you you won't, then I won't go with you to the play next week."

"You already promised!" I accused.

"Sorry, I think I may have double booked my schedule for that day." He smiled.

"You want to watch Hamlet, just as much as I do!"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't." He challenged. Just then the late bell rang; I had to get to class.

"This is not over," I informed him as I walked into Mr. Levine's senior English class. Just as the door closed behind me I heard his contagious laugh disappear through the door. He would be late to class also. I hope he got in trouble.

English class went on with out any problems. We had just started reading the Catcher in the Rye, so I was excited about that. I had calmed down some when I walked out of Mr. Levine's class when who else but Edward would be waiting for me right outside the door. Seriously did he ever go to class?

"Hey beautiful," he innocently said placing his arm around my shoulders, if only he knew how much those words meant to me and how much his touch...

"What are we doing tonight?" he continued.

If only he could see how much I loved him being in my life, but how much I also wanted him more then just a glorified friend.

"Bella?" the sound of my name snapped me out of my aside.

"Yes? What?"

"Are you sure okay? I can take you home if you want?" I could see that he only thought of me as the little sister type. I have known him since the third grade, so at least that made sense. I was someone he loved but felt he had to take care of and that was all I was ever going to be. That made me sad and angry.

"I'm fine!" I snapped. I could see the shock in his eyes; I wasn't regularly this catty.

"Fine! When your done getting your head checked come find me!" He said as he stormed off. That did it. I felt the moisture building up in my eyes. I would have to give him some time to cool off and then do some damage control. People were starting to stare so I went to the restroom to clear my eyes. It was lunch time so the restroom was filled with crowds of conceded girls applying and reapplying make-up and gossiping about who was dating who. I squeezed through so I could get to the sink.

"Bella?" great could this day get any worse?

"Hey Rosalie," Of course she looked pretty; she always looked pretty. She had on expertly applied make-up and a trendy skirt and tank ensemble. While I stood there in contrast with her in my comfy t-shirt, jeans, and purple converse, that had seen better days.

"What's wrong?" she asked concerned; probably just eager to get the latest gossip.

"Nothing." I barely croaked out. Man, was I still crying?

"You look like a mess!"

"Well thanks, that's exactly what I need to hear right now!" I said sarcastically.

"Really, what happened?"

"I just got into a fight with Edward,"

"Oh." She said completely losing interest, "so do you want to do something later? You know, to cheer yourself up." Maybe she wasn't too horrible. I mean she was my best girl friend before I found out Edward had a crush on her.

"Um…Sure. Thanks Rosalie." I said, truly touched.

"No Problem." She smiled back. "You can help me pick out an outfit for the game this Saturday." Ugh!

"You're going to the game? You hate sports."

"Well yeah, there boring, but I just ran into Edward on the way over here and he invited me. He also told me to tell you he would be in the west quad waiting for his apology, or something like that." She said applying more mascara to her already perfect lashes.

"Thanks." I said dismissing myself.

"See you after school!" She called out after I was already out the door.

Great. This was absolutely perfect! Now not only will I have to sit with Rosalie during the most crucial football game in Forks history, but I'll have to be sitting next to her and Edward while they put the moves on each other! I also had to help her look absolutely amazing for him. I knew I was over thinking everything yet again. But I had more important things on my agenda. Right now my best friend was waiting for me, in the west quad, to wallow and gravel on my knees for his forgiveness. Today was going to be a long day.

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A/N: Thanks for reading the first chapter:D You guys get hugs!! If you didn't like it tell me what you disliked por favor! 

--Sincerely,

LOST


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Please review...anything as simple as one word reviews:D Tell me if you have any suggestions:) Thank you

--Sincerely,

LOST

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As I made my way to the west quad I was contemplating on how I should apologize. Should I gravel then wallow? Or play it off as PMS? Then I saw him. He was sitting with Jasper and Emmett by the tables. They looked like they were having an active conversation but Edward seemed otherwise uninterested. Was he wallowing? He looked so great in his fitted long sleeved sweater and dark jeans. I had made it to the table and he looked up at me. His eyes were so unbelievable. I heard Emmett cough, I guess I was staring longer then I had thought.

"Hi," Edward said solemnly, holding my gaze.

"Hey," This was going to be hard.

"Um…Hey Emmett didn't you need to go get a form from the office?" Jasper asked.

"What form?" Emmett asked, clearly confused.

"You know, the form, for the thing." Jasper pushed.

"Oh, right, right. The thing," Emmett winked, "We'll see you guys later."

"Bye Emm, bye Jazz," Edward said.

I sat down, and we were quiet for awhile. I had no idea what to say. He was looking away from me. I knew if we were ever going to talk I would have to be the first to say something. But I wasn't ready to apologize.

"So…I heard you invited Rosalie to the game." I said a little too harsh.

"Aren't you here to apologize?" He said, clearly still hurt.

"Yes."

"So…" he pressed.

"So….," I couldn't hold it off any longer, "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." He said with a smile.

Great, he was feeling generous today.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Umm...Thank you?" I said puzzled. Usually this took a little more on my part.

"Yea, I figured I should be nice to you since your coming to the game on Friday with me and Rosalie."

"I am?"

"You are, and you're going to be a good sport about it."

"I am." I agreed, defeated, "And you're coming with me to the Hamlet play next Friday…Right?" I asked hopefully.

"Right. I wouldn't miss it for the world." He said moving so that he was side by side with me. I could feel his body heat radiating off of him; instantly warming me.

"So…No blood no fouls?" I asked.

"I would say we are free and clear; never to speak of this again?"

"Never," I promised.

"So after school you want to go out to eat?" Edward asked.

"Sure, oh wait."

"What is it?"

"I promised Rosalie I'd hang out with her after school today." I said, dropping my head to the table, "I have to help her find an outfit for Saturday."

"Oh."

"Yup."

"Well, I guess, I'll see you tomorrow." He said glumly.

"I'll call you when I get back," I quickly assured him leaving the table, "maybe we can hang out after?" I smiled.

"Yeah, definitely," He smiled back. If I got to end my day with Edward then maybe my day wouldn't be too horrible.

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A/N: This one was really short but thanks for reading it...REVIEWs would really make my day and I'll return the favor:D

--LOST


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for the review, those few of you who gave me some:D And i think i may scratch this story off after the next few chapters...because i have no clue where i'm going with it, and i think i have an idea for a new story:D but again thanks for taking the time to read this:)

--Sincerely,

LOST

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The last school bell rang, and I made my way to Edward's car. Passing through the wrought iron gate felt like a huge weight lifting off my shoulders. As Edward came into my view; he was leaning on the side of his shiny Volvo smiling like a perfect statue of some Greek god. As I approached him with my equally exuberant smile Rosalie grabbed my arm.

"Come on my cars this way!" Rosalie sang while towing me towards her red corvette.

"What? I can't even go home first?"

"Nope!"

I turned my head one last time to see Edward. He was still leaning on his car; his smile wiped off now replaced with a frown. I gave him my best 'sorry this wacko is dragging me off look'. He understood immediately and laughed. One thing I was sure of, he would pay for this.

"Come on!" Rosalie begged.

"Fine, where to first?"

"Well I thought we could go shopping, for a few essentials, then back to my house." She said quickly adding on, "Maybe grab you a little something too." Did she honestly think I wouldn't notice?

"No. Rosalie."

"No? Bella come on! You're so pretty, if only you had more…"

"More what?"

"Um…What's the word I'm looking for? Style!"

"I am perfectly fine." I huffed crossing my arms; like a defiant little kid.

"Please Bella?"

"No. I will not be this weeks' project!" I protested.

She was quiet then. I knew that look on her face. As if she was bracing herself for the inevitable.

"What did you do now?"

"Well…about that."

"Rosalie?"

"Well, so I told Jacob that you wanted to go to the game with him." She quickly blurted.

"You what?" I all but screamed. The car screeched to a halt. How could she! Jacob Black! Oh great! This was just the icing on top of a terrific day. I guess I was quiet for a while, when Rosalie finally said, "I think it's a good idea. You guys were so great together."

"Great? We were great together?" I questioned.

"I mean sure you guys went through some bumps in the rode and then the whole Edward kicking the crap out of him," she grimaced remembering.

"He cheated on me! Multiple times! How could you possibly tell him I would go out with him! That I wanted to go out with him."

"Come on Bella! He's hot and the captain of the football team for Christ sakes. Give him another chance." She was not going to persuade me. This was not happening, wait until Edward hears about this.

"Take me home Rosalie," I said coldly. She turned on the car and we were going down the swerving roads of Forks. Some friend.

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A/N: Hugs everyone who has read so far...REVIEW:D

--LOST


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you for the reviews:) *thumbs up* Way to go! I know this is another short chapter but if you guys all review the next chapter will be longer:D but thanks to everyone who put alerts for it and favorited it and stuff:D if you have any suggestions or any thoughts of what you guys want to happen just write it in a comment and I'll see what i can do to work it into the story;D

--Sincerely,

LOST

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We were turning the corner onto my street; Edward was walking towards his car, which was parked in my drive way, when Rosalie pulled up. Now what was he doing here? Oh well it would save me the walk across the street to his house. I was too angry to acknowledge him at the moment. As soon as Rose pulled up to the curb I stormed out of the car, slamming the door on my way out and marched off to my house.

"Hey... What happened?" Edward called after me puzzled.

"Ask her!" I yelled back.

Rosalie rolled down her window. "What happened?" Edward asked worried.

"Oh you know just Bella." Rosalie tried to play off coolly. Edward was not taking that. "What happened?" He asked annoyed. "Well, I sort of invited Jacob to come to the," He cut her off, "You what?" He asked in disbelief. Then he was running after me. "Edward!" Rosalie called after him.

I made it to my room and was about to open the door when I felt a pair of cool, familiar hands wrap around me.

"Maybe, you shouldn't go in there just yet," Edward whispered.

I turned to see my angel. He was magnificent. I guess the look in my eyes was one of complete horror because he took me into a huge comforting hug. Then all the feelings of last year flooded my memory with pain.

"Shh...Shhh...It's okay Bella." His musical voice said as he tried to calm me.

"I'm sooo sorry Edward! I know I said I would never cry about this again," I was blubbering at this point. He spoke while he soothingly touched my hair.

"It's okay Bella. Calm down. Everything is okay." I looked up to his face. His voice was calm and reassuring, but his eyes were terrified. I really scared him last year.

"I can't believe Rosalie did that,"

"Yeah." I thought one word answers would be best for now, I didn't completely trust my voice. I hid my face in his chest.

"And today of all days." He was trying to change the subject, quite successfully I might add.

"What's today?" I said calming down. He wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Remember what we talked about today?" I looked at him puzzled. Then I remembered.

"The surprise?" I groaned.

"Yes the surprise," he beamed; but the scared look never left his eyes.

He looked really excited so even though I was on the verge of a massive break down I couldn't force myself to refuse him. I proceeded to my room when he blocked me by taking a soldiers stance in front of my door.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I'm not sure if you're ready for this," he smiled.

"Let me into my room Cullen," I said trying to force my way around him. When my back was to him he grabbed me and covered my eyes. After I unsuccessfully tried to get away from his hold I giggled in defeat, "Fine!" My bedroom door swung open and I took a step in, with Edward right behind me keeping my eyes covered.

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A/N/: Thanks for reading this, it's the shortest by far but please review and the next chapter I promise will be longer:D P E A C E;D

--Sincerely,

LOST


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